


Remedial Chaos Theory

by sugarlessgum



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Slow Burn, bc every fandom should have a community au, but nothing in detail and i'll put warnings at the start of those chapters, i'll eventually mention drake and that whole backstory, minor/background matt/dan, minor/background renison, this is essentially a community au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-01-11 00:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12310644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarlessgum/pseuds/sugarlessgum
Summary: Neil had no desire to attend community college, or any college for that matter. He would've been content getting an online degree and never setting foot outside the safety of his uncle's home again. But Stuart refused to let him become a hermit so young, which is why Neil somehow found himself in a study group with six other disgruntled students at Greendale.





	1. Spanish 101

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something I decided to make because I adore the show Community, and I started to wonder how the Foxes would handle being in a crazy school like Greendale. The study group will only be a handful of the characters, but all the other Foxes will make an appearance at some point. Most of these chapters are based on actual episodes and others I just pulled out of nowhere. Likewise, all the chapters are named after episodes (though they might not always match up with the actual episode).
> 
> Some chapters will deal with abuse, trauma, eating disorders, and other unpleasant aspects of the group's backstories. Nothing will be described in graphic detail and I'll put warnings in the notes before any chapters that reference these subjects.
> 
> That being said, this chapter briefly mentions Nathan Wesninski and Robin references her childhood abduction towards the end of the chapter. Social anxiety and panic attacks are also mentioned, and there's a vague allusion to Andrew's self-harm scars.

He could hear Nicky bustling in the kitchen, radio playing while he threw together breakfast. It was the first day of school, which meant Nicky would try to be parental and have a Talk. Andrew briefly considered going elsewhere for his morning coffee and skipping this scene entirely, but money’s been tight since he’d stopped working at Eden’s. He tightened his grip on his bag and stepped through the doorway. A cold stare and stony silence should be enough to deter his cousin.

To Andrew’s surprise, Nicky managed to keep his mouth shut while the coffee brewed. The silence only lasted until Andrew reached for a travel mug.

“So,” Nicky started. Andrew sighed and resigned himself to the conversation. As stubbornly quiet as Andrew and Aaron both were, Nicky could be just as stubbornly insistent on trying to connect with them anyway. And after everything Nicky had gone through with him, Andrew found himself increasingly patient with the attempts. Not that he’d ever admit that.

“You have everything you need? Books, schedule?”

“Yes, Nicky.”

“Do you need lunch money?” Andrew shot him a dark look.

“You realize the smothering parent routine got old a long time ago, right? I’m not a child.”

“I know, you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. That doesn’t mean I don’t worry.” Andrew ignores him in favor of pouring his coffee. Nicky isn’t finished though. “I just want to make sure you aren’t pushing yourself too hard. You haven’t really left the house since you got back from the hospital. And I’m glad you’re ready to get back into the world. I just want you to remember that you don’t have to do it alone.” Andrew snapped the lid onto his mug and turned to face his cousin. The earnest look on his face made something twist in his gut.

“I know that.” It was barely a response, gritted out without any emotion, but it seemed to ease some of the tension in Nicky’s frame.

“Good. Try not to be so antisocial this year. Betsy said interacting with your peers-”

“Is an important step in my emotional recovery, I know.” Andrew didn’t plan on socializing. He barely had any interest in finishing his degree. He was only doing this to appease his cousin, and because attending school was slightly less boring than wasting all day at home under Nicky’s worried care.

“Have you given any thought to your major?”

“I was thinking criminal justice.”

“That’s cute. You pick up your sense of humor in juvie?”

“Yup.” There was a beat of silence while Nicky wrestled with what he wanted to say next.

“Andrew,” he began, far too much emotion in his voice.

“Don’t.”

“I just want to say how proud I am of the progress you’ve been making.” Andrew scowled and started for the door.

“Bye, Nicky.”

“Are you sure you don’t need anything?”

“It’s community college. How difficult can it be?”

 

Neil sat in the passenger seat of an Aston Martin, slowly summoning the willpower to step out into the parking lot. Whenever he was close to building up the necessary courage, an errant thought came to shatter it and he had to start the process all over again. He’d been sitting there for almost twenty minutes.

“Deep breaths, kid. You can do this,” said a voice from the driver seat. Roland has worked for Neil’s uncle for several years, acting as a chauffeur for the Hatford household and Neil’s primary connection to the outside world. Neil came to live with Stuart when he was sixteen, during his father’s nightmare of a trial. Stuart gave him the space he needed and arranged for Neil to be homeschooled during his final years of high school, something for which Neil would always be immensely grateful. Unfortunately, it gave him the perfect excuse to isolate himself from the world.

Neil had never been particularly social - it’s not like he could have friends with the way his parents kept him separated from all the children his age, desperate to protect the secrets of his father’s gruesome business. But after that night in the basement, Neil’s anxiety morphed from a constant hum on the edge of his awareness to a suffocating beast that clung tightly to his frame. He shut himself up in his bedroom for weeks, eventually becoming just comfortable enough to lounge in the house’s many rooms. After about a year, he even worked up the nerve to spend afternoons outside in their fenced off backyard. This seemed like progress enough for Neil, but Stuart disagreed. He constantly encouraged Neil to take one of the cars out and explore.

“You’ve been in South Carolina six months and you haven’t seen anything but the traffic on our street.” Neil was perfectly content to keep things that way, but his uncle had other plans. He had Roland drive Neil through town on weekends and would drag Neil out himself for the occasional dinner or brunch. The excursions had helped ease some of his anxiety about leaving the house, but he still dreaded social interaction. Now that the time had come for him to attend college, a new set of anxieties had bubbled up.

If Neil had his way, he would’ve gotten an online degree and been done with it, but Stuart insisted that eighteen was far too young to make himself a shut-in. So Neil had reluctantly enrolled at Greendale. Stuart had at least agreed that attending a larger school would be too stressful for Neil, so they’d chosen a community college close to home to ease him into things. Stuart hoped that after two years there, Neil would be ready to transfer to the nearby Palmetto State University. Neil was less optimistic.

Which was why Roland had been spending the past twenty minutes patiently talking him down from a panic attack.

“Hey, look at me.” Neil met Roland’s eyes as he took Neil’s hands into his own. “Deep breaths, okay? You can do this. The first day will be nothing. You’ll go over your syllabi, eat some disgusting cafeteria food, and I’ll be here waiting for you the second your last class ends. Okay?” Neil expelled the breath he’d been holding and nodded. “Great. If it gets to be too much, you can call me and I’ll pick you right up. But I believe in you. You got this.” Neil nodded again, squared off his shoulders, and grabbed his bag from the footwell. He still didn’t feel ready, but he needed to do this before he lost all his nerve.

Neil had one foot out the door before he turned to face Roland again. “Could you bring something a little more… subtle when you pick me up? I just… don’t want to stand out any more than I already will.” He traced a finger over the scars that crossed his face. It was already going to be difficult to keep a low profile, and he doubted anyone else at this school would be driving a car so expensive. Roland gave him a reassuring smile.

“Of course. I’ll see you after class.” Neil thanked him and started his journey through the parking lot. He was almost at the door when a car came screeching to a halt barely two feet in front of him. Fear warred with anger as the driver stepped out into the lot. Anger won.

“Watch where you’re fucking driving.” The man - short with blond hair wearing head to toe black, douche - shot him a cold look.

“Watch where you’re fucking walking,” he offered back, sounding entirely bored with the idea. Without sparing Neil another glance, he walked off towards the school building. Neil scowled at the sleek black Maserati haphazardly parked in the spot.

Apparently he hadn’t needed to worry about his own car.

 

The first week had been as boring as Andrew expected. He sat in the back of every class, didn’t take down any notes, and stared down any classmate stupid enough to approach him. He told Betsy all of this during their weekly session. She’d simply smiled and said the fact he bothered attending at all was a good sign.

“Baby steps, Andrew. Try participating in one of your classes, or looking into the school’s extracurriculars. Even a small amount of social interaction can be a good thing.”

He hasn’t told her about Robin yet. The timid, shaky girl in his Spanish class who had, for some inexplicable reason, latched onto him. His stony silence hadn’t discouraged her the way it had everyone else and it wasn’t worth the effort to tell her off. So for the past week, he’d tolerated her hovering around him between classes. On Friday, she’d even had the gall to sit next to him in the cafeteria during their shared lunch break. Nicky would be thrilled.

Today, he’d found a use for her constant hovering. “Hey, what’s the deal with that kid?” He nodded his head towards the redhead sitting a few rows down from them - the same one who’d told him off in the parking lot the first day of school. He was attractive, and Andrew was bored enough to consider going after him. The effort was rarely worth it, considering most guys couldn’t follow his hands-off rule, but Andrew figured he might as well get something out of the college experience.

“Well, I’ve only met him once, but his name is Neil, he lives with his uncle, he has two cats, and he’s majoring in mathematical sciences.” Robin quirked her head and studied him. “Why?” Andrew ignored the question and pulled his bag from under his desk.

Robin caught up with him in the hallway.

“Hey, wait, I wanted to ask you something. This girl in our class is starting a study group. I was wondering if you’d join with me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re the only person in this school I actually know, and I’d feel more comfortable if you were there.”

“You make the mistake of thinking I care about that. You constantly harassing me doesn’t make us friends.” Robin huffed and cut him a look.

“You haven’t told me to fuck off yet. And you don’t strike me as the kind of person to put up with someone they don’t like just to seem polite.” Andrew narrowed his eyes and refused to confirm her theory. “You know, Neil already agreed to join. So if you’re really that curious…” Andrew scowled at the knowing smirk edging its way onto Robin’s face.

“Fine. If you really need someone to hold your hand during every social interaction, I’ll take you to the first meeting. But don’t expect me to stick around the whole semester.” Robin smiled brightly and they walked the rest of the way to the cafeteria in silence.

 

The first week had been hell. Neil decided the incident in the parking lot must have been some sort of omen, a sign this whole experiment had been a terrible idea.

In a strange way, it had been exactly what Neil had needed that first day. Most of his anxiety had been replaced with anger, and he’d managed to get through his first two classes before the dread crept back in. He’d spent the rest of the week curled into himself, avoiding everyone's gaze and trying to make himself as invisible as possible. Outside of a brief, oddly pleasant conversation he’d had with a classmate last Thursday, he’d managed to lay low.

Until today, when someone stopped him just before Spanish class. The woman - who introduced herself as Dan Wilds - invited him to a study group she was putting together.

“We’ll be meeting every day at 5:30 in Study Room F. You should come, too,” she added to Robin, who was hovering in the doorway. Neil opened his mouth to turn her down on instinct.

“Sure, it could be fun,” Robin answered first. “Right?” She turned her earnest gaze towards Neil. He thought of Stuart, who’s been encouraging him to socialize since the start of the semester, asking him every day how he’s been adjusting to school. A study group shouldn’t be too much effort. It’s not like any of them would be expecting his life story, they’d all be there to study. Besides, he actually did like Robin. And this should be enough to appease Stuart for a while.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be there.” Dan smiled at him a bit too earnestly and passed them both a flyer with the info.

“Great. I’ll see you both then.” Neil shot off a quick text to Roland asking to be picked up later than usual and spent the rest of the day stressing about his decision.

When he walks into the study room, there are only two people sitting at the large table at the center of the room. Dan had set up camp at the head of the table. On the right-hand side of the table sat a boy only a year or two older than Neil. They’d never spoken in class, but Neil knew exactly who he was, recognized him the second he saw the bold Roman numeral ‘II’ on his cheekbone.

Kevin Day had been the star striker of their high school’s Exy team, alongside his adopted brother Riko Moriyama. He was a grade ahead of Neil, and everyone had been certain he’d be recruited to any number of high-ranking universities after graduation. Neil hadn’t seen him since he left Baltimore, and he’d nearly had a heart attack when he saw him sitting in their Spanish classroom the first day of school. Seeing him now almost made Neil walk out of the library and forget about the study group entirely.

But then Dan saw him and he was trapped.

“Neil! Great! I’m glad you made it. Here, put your name and number on this contact sheet so we can all keep in touch.” Neil scribbled out his info and took a seat at the opposite end of the table.

“Um, is this everyone?”

“Oh, no. I’m expecting a few more people.” As if on cue, Robin walked into the room, followed by the short blond menace from the parking lot. Of course. Robin made a beeline for Neil, taking the seat between him and Kevin.

“Hi, Neil. This is my friend Andrew.” Neil looked over her shoulder and shot Andrew a cold look.

“Yeah, I remember you. You’re the psycho who ran me down with his car last week.” The rest of the table looked shocked at this.

“I’m sorry, what?” Dan asked.

“He’s overreacting,” Andrew told them calmly. He took the seat directly next to Neil - of course. “He ran in front of me while I was parking.” Dan looked like she was debating further intervention, but was stopped when two more people walked into the room. One had long blond hair that hung down her back and six-inch-heeled boots. The other was wearing a modest dress and had shoulder-length bleached hair, the ends dyed in rainbow pastels.

“Great!” Dan said, accepting the change of conversation. “Everyone, this is Allison and Renee. Now that everyone’s here, we can officially get started.” The new girls sat in the remaining two chairs, rainbow hair - Renee - taking the seat closest to Andrew. Dan passed the contact sheet around the table.

“Why don’t we start by introducing ourselves. I’m Dan, I’m getting my associate’s in athletic training, and I’ll hopefully be transferring to PSU next fall.” They made their way around the table, Neil and Robin both mumbling their responses, Andrew giving his name and nothing else. When they got to Allison, Kevin spoke up.

“You’re Allison Reynolds, right? Don’t your parents own a hotel chain? What are you doing at a community college?” Allison examined her nails, feigning disinterest.

“My parents and I had a disagreement about my future.”

“What does that mean?” Dan asked.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Renee quickly tried to diffuse the tension by suggesting they go over the past week’s notes and everyone but Andrew pulled out their binders.

“Where are your notes?” Dan asked.

“I don’t take notes.”

“Then why are you even here?” Allison demanded.

“I don’t need notes. I have an eidetic memory.” Allison snorted.

“Sure, okay. Again, why are you even here?”

“I asked him to come,” Robin offered.

“Can we just get back to studying?” asked Dan.

“There’s nothing to study,” Neil cut in. He was already exhausted and ready for this session to end. “We’ve only had class for a week.”

“Okay well, I’ve got the study room reserved for another hour and a half. Why don’t we spend the rest of our time getting to know each other?”

“Yeah,” said Andrew. “For instance, what’s an heiress doing slumming it at Greendale?”

“Piss off, short stack.”

“I don’t get it either,” Kevin added. “You could’ve gone literally anywhere. Why here?”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Neil said. “Shouldn’t you have gotten a full ride on an Exy scholarship” Kevin looked as if he’d been slapped.

“How did you know that?” Nelt felt stupid for drawing attention to himself, and even more stupid for revealing more about his past than he’d intended.

“We went to high school together. In Baltimore.”

“Baltimore?” Dan asked. “What are you two doing in South Carolina.” Kevin was eying him with a calculating expression. Neil ducked his head before he answered.

“I moved down here to live with my uncle when I was sixteen.”

“What about you, Kevin?” He didn’t seem to hear the question.

“Shit. You’re Nathaniel Wesninski. Your dad was the Butcher of Baltimore. Shit. I always wondered what happened to you.”

“I’m sorry, did you say Butcher?”

“I don’t really like to talk about it,” Neil said. “And I go by Neil.” He could feel everyone’s eyes on him and it was starting to make his skin crawl. “What about you?” he demanded. “How does the best junior striker in Maryland end up in a shithole like Greendale?” Kevin flexed his left hand and clenched his jaw.

“I lost my scholarship,” he admitted. “There was an… accident my senior year. I broke my hand, lost my scholarships. I came down here because an old family friend works in the athletics department. David Wymack.”

“Oh, I know him,” Dan offered. “He’s my advisor.”

“I wanna get back to this ‘Butcher’ thing,” Allison said. Neil felt his stomach turning over.

“If Neil isn’t comfortable talking about it, we shouldn’t make him,” Renee insisted.

“Unless you’re ready to give up your tragic backstory,” added Andrew.

“Why, you wanna trade?” Allison shot back. “There a reason you’re wearing long sleeves in sixty-degree weather?” Andrew’s fist clenched tightly enough that his veins popped out. Renee chided Allison and tried, unsuccessfully, to steer the conversation elsewhere. Eventually, the conversation went completely off the rails. Dan, Kevin, and Allison were arguing while Renee tried to calm them all down. Robin was visibly retreating into herself with every nasty word. At some point in the chaos, Andrew had slipped out of the room, and Neil was tempted to follow him. Everything was too loud, and his skin still felt raw after the mention of his father. With a calm that only comes with the worst kind of stress, Neil packed up his bag and left the study room.

 

Andrew sat on the library steps working his way through his third cigarette when Neil came crashing through the thick double doors. He fished out his own pack of cigarettes and lowered himself shakily to the steps. After watching Neil pat down his pockets for a lighter, Andrew offered his own. Neil blinked in surprise but accepted the light with a murmured thank you. They sat and smoked in silence. Eventually, Neil spoke up.

“He was a serial killer.” Neil was rubbing his free hand over the thick scars that crossed over his face.

“I don’t remember asking.”

“Why did you come tonight?” He was watching Andrew over the cloud of his cigarette. He wasn’t smoking it; he just held it up close to his face and inhaled the smoke. Neil had confessed something obviously painful to think about, and Andrew hated feeling like he owed anyone anything, which is the only reason Andrew answered him.

“Robin asked me to come, and she’s basically the only person I’ve met in this toilet-shaped school I can tolerate.” Neil accepted this with silence. As if summoned, Robin emerged from the library and plopped herself between the two.

“How’d your little social experiment go?” Andrew asked her.

“It was a stupid idea. I don’t know why I thought this could be fun.”

“The world’s a shitty place full of shitty people. It’s better not to get your hopes up.”

“I just-” Robin stopped herself and shook her head angrily. She drew her legs up and rested her chin on her knees. “I’ve never had friends before. I didn’t- I never got-” She looked frustrated with her inability to get the words out. She took in a deep breath, stared off into the middle distance, and started again.

“When I was five, I was abducted.” Neither Andrew or Neil could school their shocked expressions. “He kept me in a boarded up room for six years, I never saw or spoke to anyone who wasn’t him. Even once I was brought back to my parents, I never talked to anyone. I was too scared. I was home-schooled for a while, and then I went to a small high school where everyone knew me as the girl who grew up in a basement. They didn’t want to talk to me any more than I wanted to talk to them. I just thought… maybe this was my chance to start over. Clean slate. Stupid.” She didn’t bother to wipe away the slow tears now trailing down her face.

Neil sighed and stamped out his cigarette with a quiet, “Goddammit,” before marching back into the library. Robin turned to Andrew, looking as confused as he felt. Andrew shrugged, put out his own cigarette, and walked with her back to the study room.

 

Neil wasn’t sure why he was doing this. He wasn’t in the habit of sticking his neck out for other people, let alone someone he’s barely had three conversations with. But listening to her story, he felt something deeper than sympathy. He understood that bone-deep longing to be someone and mean something because it was something he’s felt since childhood. Behind his countless layers of anxiety and trust issues was a desire to be known, to be a part of something. Which is why he found himself back in the study room, where the other four all looked ready to storm out. Kevin and Allison were halfway there, bags slung over their shoulders, chairs shoved back from the table. Neil slammed his own bag onto the table, immediately drawing their attention.

“Enough. We’re not letting this whole thing fall apart over petty bullshit. Bad shit happened to you, that doesn’t make you special. None of us would be here at this school if our lives were perfect.” He was vaguely aware of Robin and Andrew walking into the room. “We’re all adults, more or less. We should all be mature enough to work together. You don’t want to drag out personal shit with complete strangers? Great, neither do I. But if you keep shoving away everyone in this school - the only people as angry and stressed out and beaten down as you are - there won’t be anybody left to connect with. So shut up, sit back down, and let’s start over.” He sat heavily in his chair and pulled out his binder.

“Hi, I’m Neil. I’m an asshole with social anxiety and shitty parents, and right now I’d like nothing more than to study. Sound good to everyone?” Dan quirked an amused eyebrow.

“Yeah, let’s get to it.” Everyone else settled into their seats, Robin giving him a shy, grateful smile. He could feel Andrew’s eyes on him during the rest of the meeting, but he brushed it to the back of his mind.

 

The next time they leave, it’s as a group. The sun was just starting to set, casting shadows throughout the parking lot. Renee offered them all an uncomfortably genuine smile.

“This was lovely. Same time tomorrow?”

“Absolutely,” Dan answered. “As long as everyone else is still in.” Everyone murmured their assent, even Andrew. Robin pulled Neil into a timid hug, then walked off with Andrew in the direction of the Maserati. The rest of the group loitered near the steps, much more at ease with each other than they’d been an hour ago. Their attention was quickly diverted when a Rolls Royce pulled into the lot. Allison was the first to comment.

“Jesus shit. Is that a Rolls?” Neil let out a sigh. Definitely too much attention today.

“Yes,” he confirmed, “it is.” Without another word, he made his way towards the car and slipped into the passenger seat.

“What happened to ‘subtle?’” he demanded. Roland shrugged apologetically.

“I’m sorry. Your uncle had an event tonight, I didn’t have time to switch out cars. How was your group?”

“It was fine.” Neil was done talking for the night. He leaned against the window and fell asleep.


	2. Communication Studies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So it’s not going to be a problem for either of us, right? We’ll have to settle for being friends.” Andrew felt the corner of his mouth twitch upwards without permission.
> 
> “I suppose so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the positive feedback! I’m really glad people are enjoying this fic. Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. Things got busy with midterms/Halloween/etc, but I’m using NaNoWriMo to focus on this story so hopefully updates should come more frequently.
> 
> This chapter was heavily influenced by episode 1x04 of _Community_ , so if any lines seem familiar that’s probably where they came from. Most of Renee and Andrew’s conversation at the end of the chapter came from this post.
> 
> Side note, I wasn’t planning on Exy being involved in this story at all, but then I realized Neil and Kevin are both too obsessed for that to be realistic. That being said, it will only be a very minor part of the story.
> 
> Warnings:  
> There’s brief mention of Renee’s time in a gang and Andrew’s past court-ordered medication. Also a reference to Andrew having problems being held down, but no description for why. Nothing that should be triggering, but I’d rather mention it now to be safe.

Robin eyed the clock, willing the class period to finally end. What had started as a lesson on family nouns had quickly devolved into a forty-minute rant about how the word _esposa_ meant “liar.” Señor Chang had never been a particularly effective teacher, but this had reached an entirely new level of uncomfortable. When the clock finally ran out, the whole class breathed a collective sigh and hurried for the door.

Everyone but Andrew, who was packing his bag slowly and methodically. He was usually one of the first out of the classroom.

“What are you doing?” Andrew glanced her way briefly before hauling his bag over his shoulder and heading for the hallway. Robin followed after him.

“Renee and I both have a class across campus. If we leave at the same time, she insists on walking with me. I can’t go that kind of distance with, ‘Oh, that’s nice.’” He pitched his voice up in a mockery of Renee’s.

“That’s mean.”

“No. ‘That’s not nice.’” Robin rolled her eyes. Andrew may be older than her, but sometimes he made her question his maturity.

“Whatever. I’m going to lunch, see you in group.” Andrew gave her a small nod in acknowledgment and they parted ways.

 

Neil felt dead on his feet. He hadn’t been sleeping all week because of a fit of nightmares, a problem he hasn’t dealt with for months. He’d fought with his uncle this morning after Stuart suggested he see a therapist. Neil didn’t need a therapist. Dragging out his ugly secrets in front of a stranger wasn’t going to make the nightmares stop.

He stumbled over to the school’s tiny café for a cup of watered-down pseudo-coffee. Kevin was standing at the counter with a man Neil vaguely recognized as the captain of Greendale’s pathetically small Exy team. Interest wormed its way through his exhaustion. He veered towards them and grunted a hello, not functional enough for actual words.

“Neil, hey.” Kevin’s eyes were wide like a child caught doing something they shouldn’t. Neil raised his eyebrow in a silent question. “Um, this is Jeremy Knox. He’s on the Exy team.” Jeremy smiled wide and shook Neil’s hand. Everything about him screamed sunshine and friendship. It was giving Neil a headache.

“Nice to meet you, man. Hey, you’re not gonna order coffee, are you? No judgment. I used to do coffee, but then I switched to green tea. It’s like filled with these antioxidants and stuff. It’s pretty tight.” Neil fixed his gaze back on Kevin, who simply shrugged in response. “So, do you play too?”

“What?”

“Exy. Kevin and I have been practicing together on the weekends.” This caught Neil’s full attention.

“You’ve been playing again? What about your hand?” Kevin shrugged, trying - and failing - to seem casual.

“I’ve been playing right-handed,” he said, as if it wasn’t a ridiculously difficult thing to accomplish.

“Shit, dude.” It seemed complete sentences still eluded him. Jeremy glanced at his phone, then up at Kevin.

“I gotta get to class. See you later, man. Great meeting you, Neil.” After a few more sickeningly earnest smiles, Jeremy was off. Neil’s mind was still reeling from the conversation. It had left him with a strong undercurrent of longing that his sleep-deprived mind wasn’t able to process. He’d sort through it later, after a few doses of caffeine.

 

Andrew let the rest of the class empty out while he re-tied a loose shoelace. When he stood back up, Renee was waiting a few desks away. He let out a small sigh and picked his bag off the ground.

“Fine.” Renee smiled and fell into step with him. Avoiding her was starting to involve too much work anyways. Maybe a long walk with an unresponsive conversation partner would be enough to make her finally give up.

The first quarter of their walk was filled with comments on the weather and half-hearted attempts at small talk, all of which were met with pointed silence. They walked a few feet completely silent before Renee said, “I always thought Greendale would make a good stronghold for the apocalypse.” It was so far off from anything he expected to hear from her that Andrew was startled into a response.

“How do you figure?” Renee smiled, pleased he’d finally responded, and Andrew cursed himself for encouraging her.

“The windows and doors are all reinforced. The campus is close enough to town you could easily make supply runs but far enough it won’t get too much attention from outsiders. Plus, there’s plenty of room on campus for a large group to live comfortably.”

“You think about this often?” Renee shrugged.

“It never hurts to be prepared. And it’s more interesting than keeping up with celebrity gossip or reality TV.” Andrew hummed in acknowledgment but didn’t say anything for a few more feet.

“Too many points of entry.” Renee blinked in surprise. She probably hadn’t expected a real response. “You’d need a guard or a blockade at every door to keep other people out. And big groups are harder to control. You can’t afford to pick up strays or carry unnecessary weight.” Renee hummed in thought.

“So how many people would you let into your group?” Andrew didn’t hesitate.

“Four.”

“Only four? That’s a pretty strict cutoff.”

“It’s not the number itself. It’s about the people you’re willing to bring with you, the ones who could be useful.”

“So who’s important enough that you’d consider dragging them with you through hell?”

“My brother and cousin. My therapist.”

“Your therapist?” She sounded surprised at this, though he wasn’t sure if it was because he’d bring a psychiatrist with him during the apocalypse or because he had one to begin with. She didn’t ask for clarification on either issue, and he wouldn’t have answered anyway. He wasn’t about to admit to some prying classmate that Betsy was more like family than a hired professional. “Who’s your fourth?”

“Robin,” he admitted.

“That’s sweet.” Andrew made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat and Renee laughed at him. They argued strategies the rest of the way to class.

 

Friday afternoon, Neil found himself walking to the school’s phys ed building. He’d been thinking about his conversation with Kevin and Jeremy all week. He hasn’t played Exy since little league, but it had remained a lifelong obsession, his one escape from the hell of his home life. So he’d told Roland he would be staying late after school and moved almost unconsciously to the indoor Exy court.

Greendale’s team practiced in the evenings, so Kevin and Jeremy are the only two on the court when Neil gets there. It’s almost hypnotic, watching them run through drills and passes, perfectly in sync. A hand injury would usually be a career ender, but watching Kevin now you wouldn’t have guessed he ever had one. After a few minutes, Neil knocked on the glass. The two players stopped and sought out the sound. Neil could just make out Jeremy’s huge smile behind his mouth guard. Kevin made his way to the door, stripping off his helmet as he went.

“What are you doing here?” Neil shrugged, looked away.

“I wanted to see you play.” Neil didn’t know how to explain the overwhelming need to be on the court. How he was so tired it sometimes hurt to breathe, and coming here was the only thing he could think of to calm his nerves. When he looked back at Kevin, he saw that he didn’t need to.

Kevin glanced over his shoulder at the court, then back to Neil. “You could join us, if you want. There’s spare equipment in the gym.”

“I haven’t played since I was a kid.” Kevin pursed his lips in thought.

“We’ll teach you.” Neil looked back to the court. It didn’t take long to decide.

“Yeah, okay.”

 

On Monday, Allison watched Andrew and Renee leave the study room side by side, then cast a suspicious look at the rest of the group.

“When the hell did those two become friends?”

“I think they’ve got some class together?” Dan offered.

“They’ve been going to the gym together,” Robin added. She’d been more than a little smug when she found out Andrew had finally started talking to Renee. “Aw, that’s nice,” she’d teased, earning herself a dirty look.

Now, Dan and Allison regarded each other while Kevin and Neil packed their bags, indifferent.

“Do you think there’s something going on there?” Dan asked. Allison snorted.

“With the psycho and Joan of Arc? No way.”

“They have been spending a lot of time together out of class.”

“That doesn’t mean they’re sleeping together. Don’t be so heteronormative, Wilds.” This got Neil’s attention. He didn’t add to the conversation, but Robin could see he was actively listening.

“I bet you fifty bucks something happens by the end of the semester,” Dan challenged. A wicked grin spread across Allison’s face.

“Deal.”

They all split off, Robin and Neil making their way to the quad. He’d promised to help with a project for her film class. She had him stand by the fountain while she took a few long shots.

“I need you to look confused and disillusioned. Just make that face you do whenever Dan tries to be nice to you.” His face contorted and his brow furrowed. “Perfect.”

Later, as they walked around the campus for some b-roll footage, Neil finally spoke up.

“Do you think Dan is right? About Renee and Andrew?” He said it casually, but his shoulders were hunched and his eyes were cast to the ground. She considered telling Neil that Andrew had only joined the study group as an excuse to flirt with him, but she didn’t think it wise to throw Andrew under the bus just to appease Neil’s curiosity.

“I don’t really think she’s his type,” she said instead. Neil nodded but he didn’t look any less confused. Hopeless.

 

Andrew lay flat on his back, sweat-slick and heaving. Renee hovered over him, looking remarkably smug, an expression he never expected to see on her.

“Wanna go another round?” she asked. He shot her a pointed look that she quickly interpreted as a ‘no.’ She stood and offered her hand but he waved her off, peeling himself from the gym mat.

This had become an almost daily habit: a couple hours in Greendale’s musty student fitness center followed by a quick drive off campus for coffee. He paid for the drinks and in exchange she promised not to tell anyone he liked pumpkin spice lattes. Andrew had reluctantly admitted to himself that this was an actual friendship.

Andrew hadn’t been in any physical fights since the incident outside Eden’s back in high school. The drug-induced mania that followed hadn’t exactly made him less aggressive, but he’d been more careful to play by the rules, eager to have his sentence lifted. Not that it mattered in the end.

After he’d gotten over the initial panic of being held down, these sparring sessions with Renee became a convenient way to get back into practice, stay on guard. It helped that she never kept him pinned longer than necessary. They’d each set out strict boundaries before their first match. What he hadn’t expected was to be outmatched by the holier-than-thou sweetheart Renee Walker. Andrew had learned how to fight in juvie. It was messy and imperfect, but it got the job done. Renee, on the other hand, had learned on the streets. Andrew would be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised to learn about Renee’s past in the Bloodhounds, a vicious street gang up in Detroit. By her own admission, she hadn’t found God until she’d come to live with Stephanie Walker, after years in an unforgiving foster system that Andrew was all too familiar with. Now the only remnants of her sordid past were the large dragon-like wings inked onto her back and the knives she confessed she kept locked away in her closet. But when she stepped into the gym, she left behind her God and her Christian principles and fought with the same ferocity she did years ago. Andrew had actually learned something resembling an actual technique from her.

When he walked out of the locker room, he found Renee waiting with a pensive look on her face. He raised an eyebrow at her and fished out his keys, waiting for her to spit out whatever she needed to say.

“I wanted you to hear this from me,” she said as they walked out towards the parking lot. “The others are starting to talk, and while I haven’t been able to catch the entire conversation, it seems they are betting on our chances of ending up together. As a couple, I mean.”

It wasn’t surprising, he supposed. He’d noticed the study group’s tendency to make extravagant bets over the most menial things. It bordered on gambling addiction, and Andrew would have considerably less patience for it if it hadn’t earned him some decent spending money over the past few weeks. Still.

“What a waste of time and money. Know this before you give any weight to their suspicions: I don’t fuck women.” He kept walking past her, already bored with the conversation.

“I do.” Andrew turned back to Renee, standing a few steps behind him, a cheeky grin on her face. “So it’s not going to be a problem for either of us, right? We’ll have to settle for being friends.” Andrew felt the corner of his mouth twitch upwards without permission.

“I suppose so.”

 

Neil sat at the breakfast table, muscles still sore from practice the night before. Kevin was a relentless player and had little sympathy for the fact that Neil was a beginner. This weekend they had gone over some new drills, running through them several times each until Neil’s legs threatened to give out under him. Jeremy was a far more patient teacher, but approached the sport with an intense focus and energy that left Neil exhausted. The upside to all this being that by the time Neil came home last night, he had fallen immediately into a dreamless sleep. Despite his aching muscles, he felt more rested than he had in weeks.

Stuart eyed him cautiously from across the breakfast table. He had yet to ask why Neil started coming home so late on the weekends, no doubt happy he was finally spending time out of the house by his own volition, but he seemed troubled about something.

Stuart took a drag out of his mug and cleared his throat.

“So,” he began, “how has school been going?” His Birmingham accent had softened a bit after years living in the states, but Neil could still hear the traces of it in his voice. It was comforting, in a way. It always reminded him of Mary’s own accent, which she had stubbornly clung to despite (or perhaps because of) Nathan’s many complaints about how ‘unattractive’ it sounded.

“It’s fine,” Neil told him, picking apart his eggs.

“There aren’t any… problems?”

“No. Why would there be problems?” Stuart hesitated, looking at the point where Neil’s collarbone stuck out from the neckline of his shirt. Right. There was a fresh, blooming bruise there from a particularly nasty check last night. It looked worse than it felt, and considering he’d been the one throwing Kevin into the plexiglass Neil didn’t think he had much right to complain.

“I just want to make sure everything is all right,” Stuart continued, a bit awkwardly. Neither he nor Neil were built for these sort of emotional talks, and the few attempts at having one over the years usually ended with nervous throat clearing and averted glances on both their parts. “I know I wasn’t… Well, I never did much to help you or your mother when you were still living in Baltimore, and I don’t intend to make the same mistake twice. If there’s something going on, tell me, and I’ll take care of it.”

This, Stuart was much better at. They never talked openly about his business around the house, but Neil knew that the Hatfords dealt with the same shady underworld his father had. They just did it with more class.

“It’s fine, really. I’ve been… I've been playing Exy with some friends after school. That’s all.” Stuart blinked in surprise.

“Oh. I suppose that’s all right then. So, you’ve been getting along well?”

“Yeah. It’s… it’s been good.” Stuart hummed and went back to his meal. They didn’t say anything for the rest of breakfast, but Neil could see he was happy with the news. So was Neil.


	3. Home Economics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan apologized again for dragging her out into the cold and offered to buy her breakfast as payment. Renee was about to insist that she didn’t need payment, really, when she walked straight into Dan’s back. She’d stopped dead in the middle of the lot, and Renee followed her gaze to Allison’s bubblegum pink BMW parked outside the student dorms.
> 
> “What is she doing here so early?” Her question was answered a moment later when Allison emerged from the backseat, hair wild and wearing a loose pair of sweatpants. It was startling, and it set off red flags in Renee’s head immediately. In the several weeks she’s known Allison, Renee’s never seen her less than perfectly made up (barring one particularly stormy day when she’d walked into the study room soaked to the bone and scowling).
> 
> They’re a good distance away from the car and Allison doesn’t appear to have noticed them yet, but they still duck behind a tree as she grabs a bag from out of her trunk and trudges out of the lot. By now, Renee has figured out exactly what’s happening, but Dan provides her with an answer anyways.
> 
> “That girl is living in her car.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to go up a few days ago, but then I got violently ill and did nothing but sleep for a solid two days, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> This chapter involves a lot of POVs I've never written before and I'm not really sure I did them justice, but it was fun practice! This one's based on the episodes "Home Economics" and "Football, Feminism, and You." Also, I know most community colleges don't have dorms (at least mine doesn't), but Greendale does in the show so for the sake of plot I'm ignoring real-world logic.
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> \- temporary homelessness  
> \- discussion of past eating disorder  
> \- mention of Riko breaking Kevin's hand, and everything that entails

Allison woke up cramped and shivering in the back seat of her car. Groaning, she reached out blindly for the water bottle she kept under the seat. She chugged some water then attempted to work the knots out of her neck. She’d been sleeping in her car for almost a week and she was starting to worry it was doing permanent damage to her spine. It wasn’t ideal but she didn’t have many options available. She’d been evicted from her apartment several days ago after a disagreement with her landlord about the rent. Honestly, she was only three months behind. Some people had no patience.

Regardless, she now found herself without a place to sleep for the time being. She’d briefly considered staying at a motel, but that was thrown out the moment she’d checked her pathetically low bank account. Forging her own path in the world was proving to be more difficult than she’d hoped.

She knew sleeping in her car wasn’t a permanent solution. Besides the incessant back pain, the temperature was starting to drop and soon it would be too cold to sleep in a metal box without any heat. A small, desperate voice in the back of her mind told her to call her parents. She squashed it, retrieved her bag of toiletries and a change of clothes from the trunk, and snuck into the fitness center’s locker room to shower.

 

To everyone’s surprise, the Dean came knocking during Friday’s study session.

“Hello, hello. Well, look at this group, having some kind of meeting and being so diverse.” After a few confused and suspicious glances around the table, it was silently decided they would let Dan handle this.

“Is there something we can help you with, Dean Pelton?”

“Oh, no. Don’t let me interrupt. Sometimes I like to just roll around campus like a little Exy ball.” The Dean threw his arms up in obviously feigned surprise and turned to Kevin. “I can’t believe this. Here I am in a random conversation about Exy when I’m talking to Kevin Day, star striker of Riverside High.” Kevin was immediately wary. Jeremy has told him more than once how desperate the Dean was to boost their athletics department — or do anything to make Greendale seem like a legitimate university. Kevin’s past with Exy was hardly a secret. It was listed in his transcripts, and he’d been on the radar of several universities before his accident. But he’d never thought the Dean would think to approach him.

Yet here he was, leaning conspiratorially on the table beside Kevin, trying too hard to seem like he hadn’t planned this speech beforehand.

“I was so sorry to hear about your injury. But now that you’ve recovered, we would love for you to play for the Human Beings.”

“The team’s name is the Human Beings?” Allison asked, and Kevin was grateful for the momentary distraction. The Dean perked up at her question.

“Yeah, my idea. It used to be the Greendale Grizzlies, but I thought, well…” He brought a hand to the side of his mouth and lowered his voice. “A lot of these students have been called animals their whole lives.” The Dean grimaced then continued at a normal volume, “Unfortunately, I have no idea what to do about the mascot.”

To Kevin’s dismay, the Dean didn’t remain sidetracked for long. He turned back to Kevin expectantly. Kevin felt a long-buried anxiety crawling back up his throat. After his accident, he’d avoided anything Exy related for months. It had taken an absurd amount of courage just to attend one of Greendale’s home games last fall, let alone start practicing with Jeremy. The thought of playing on an actual team again — even one as hopeless as the Human Beings — made him queasy.

“I… No. Sorry. I don’t really have time for any extracurriculars. I just want to focus on my degree for now.” It was a flimsy excuse, even to his own ears, but the Dean graciously dropped the subject.

“Well, if you ever change your mind, the court is always open.”

He hoped that would’ve been the end of the subject, but the others weren’t as willing to let it go. They paused as a group at the trophy case just outside the library, which held a single, depressing trophy.

“You sure you made the right call on the Exy team?” Andrew asked, voice heavy with sarcasm. “It looks like they won something once.”

Robin leaned in to read the small inscription. “‘Most Valued Customers, Henderson Trophy Case.’” Allison cackled as the group separated. Only Neil remained, brow furrowed, studying Kevin.

“You should do it,” he said finally. Kevin didn’t say anything, just kept his gaze fixed on the trophy case. Eventually, Neil left for his own class and Kevin could breathe again.

 

Renee wrapped her scarf tightly around her face as she and Dan made their way across the parking lot. It was early, much earlier than they usually arrived, the sun barely starting to peak over the horizon. They’d agreed to meet before school so Renee could help Dan with an essay for their World Lit class.

Dan apologized again for dragging her out into the cold and offered to buy her breakfast as payment. Renee was about to insist that she didn’t need payment, really, when she walked straight into Dan’s back. She’d stopped dead in the middle of the lot, and Renee followed her gaze to Allison’s bubblegum pink BMW parked outside the student dorms.

“What is she doing here so early?” Her question was answered a moment later when Allison emerged from the back seat, hair wild and wearing a loose pair of sweatpants. It was startling, and it set off red flags in Renee’s head immediately. In the several weeks she’s known Allison, Renee’s never seen her less than perfectly made up (barring one particularly stormy day when she’d walked into the study room soaked to the bone and scowling).

They’re a good distance away from the car and Allison doesn’t appear to have noticed them yet, but they still duck behind a tree as she grabs a bag from out of her trunk and trudges out of the lot. By now, Renee has figured out exactly what’s happening, but Dan provides her with an answer anyways.

“That girl is living in her car.”

 

The conversation died the second Allison stepped into the study room. Weird, but whatever. Clearly, none of them had any semblance of subtlety. She ignored the eyes on her and walked to her seat. It’s not like she didn’t have experience with petty gossip. She wasn’t sure why she thought college would be any different. After a few more seconds of awkward silence, Renee finally cleared her throat to speak.

“Hello, Allison. We were just talking about how in today’s economy—”

“Living in your car, living in your car, you're living in your car.” Dan turned an apologetic look to Renee after her outburst. “Sorry, I’m not good at being coy.”

Well. Shit.

“I am not living in my car. I’m just sleeping in it for a couple days while I look for a new apartment. It’s a very temporary issue”

“What happened to your old apartment?”

“There was a minor issue with the rent.” Allison took in a deep breath and admitted, “The landlord kicked me out.”

“Why don’t you just call your parents?” Neil asked. Allison ground her teeth together and braced herself for the conversation she’d been avoiding all semester.

“I’m not speaking to my parents anymore.”

“She means they cut her off,” Andrew said. Everyone turned to him in surprise. “Why else would she be waitressing at Sweetie’s?”

“How do you even know that?” she demanded.

“My cousin works there. I stop by a lot.” Allison huffed but let it drop. She wondered how long Andrew knew she was a waitress. She wondered how long the others knew she’d been sleeping in her car before they finally confronted her. Judging by the way they’d stumbled over this intervention, she doubted they had the patience or finesse to hide it for very long.

“Allison,” Renee started, her voice unbearably gentle, “do you need a place to stay?”

“You can stay with me in the dorms,” Robin offered. “My room’s got a bunk bed.”

“I’m fine, really. I’ll have a new place in no time.”

“But—”

“No. I don’t need anyone’s charity or pity. I’ll be fine on my own.” She pushed away from the table and headed for the door. “I’ll see you in class.”

None of them followed her, but Renee found her later on the quad. She sat on the bench next to Allison and offered her a travel mug of cocoa. Allison was tempted to turn it down on principle, but the wind was biting and she hadn’t been able to splurge on Starbucks for weeks. Renee waited for her to take a few sips before she started speaking.

“You should take Robin up on her offer.”

“I don’t need it.”

“How long will it take you to find a new place?”

“However long it takes to find a cheaper apartment, hopefully with a more lenient landlord, ideally in a building where I won’t be at constant risk of being mugged but I admit that one might be asking too much.” She refused to meet Renee’s searching gaze.

“Why is it so hard for you to accept our help?”

“Because I don’t need it. I’ve been doing fine on my own. This is just a, a speedbump.” Renee hummed and took a sip out of her own mug.

“Allison, what happened with your parents?” Allison didn’t answer right away and Renee didn’t push her. They sat in silence while Allison gathered her thoughts.

“When I was in high school, I struggled a lot with my image. My parents needed me to be this picture perfect paper doll to put on magazine covers and tote around at parties. I’m an only child, which means the entire Reynolds legacy was on my shoulders.” She paused for a breath. “I was bulimic. I was able to hide it, mostly, for a while. Honestly, looking back I think my parents probably noticed, but it gave them the daughter they wanted so they never said anything. After graduation, though… It got out of control. I had to be hospitalized for a while. My parents told everyone I was taking a gap year to go backpacking through Europe or some other cliche bullshit. When I got out of the hospital, they scolded me for embarrassing them and made it clear a ‘repeat incident’ wouldn’t be tolerated. So I packed my shit, drove as far south as I had gas in my tank, and ended up here. I’m done breaking myself for their sake. I’d rather do this on my own than crawl back to them.”

“But you don’t have to do it alone,” Renee told her. “You have us now.” Allison studied her, searching for any sign of pity or judgment. All she found was understanding.

“Thanks for the advice. And the cocoa. Why don’t we have dinner at my place? I’ve got a hot plate that plugs into a cigarette lighter.”

“Yeah, but your kitchen’s being towed.” Allison whipped her head to her usual parking spot. Sure enough, there was a tow truck hooking itself to the back of her car.

“Shit.”

Abandoning Renee and her drink on the bench, she ran off towards the parking lot. After several hours and a heated argument with the tow truck driver, Allison found herself standing in front of Robin’s door in the student dorms.

“Can I stay with you?” she asked when Robin finally answered the door. Robin stepped back and opened the door wide to let her in.

 

Neil had been watching him all week, so Kevin wasn’t surprised when he brought up the Dean’s proposal on Friday. Kevin was surprised that he had waited until their weekly Exy practice to say anything, but he probably shouldn’t have been. Neil was quiet, but he was also calculating. As soon as Kevin saw the look on Jeremy’s face, he knew why Neil had waited.

“That’s great! You said yes, right?”

After shooting a look at Neil, the traitor, Kevin said, “No. I turned him down.” He watched Jeremy’s face fall and then twist in confusion.

“Why? You love Exy, you’re great at it. And, honestly, we could really use you on the team. This school hasn’t won a single game in… possibly ever.”

“I just… I’m not ready.”

“Because of your hand? Kev, you’ve made amazing progress this year.”

“He’s right,” Neil cut in. “I’ve seen the way you played before your accident. You might not be back at that level, but you’re pretty damn close.”

“It’s not that simple. And… it wasn’t an accident.” Neil and Jeremy looked at each other in surprise.

“Then what was it?”

“It was Riko.” He watched the realization hit both of them slowly. They both knew who Riko was. Neil had known them both, however indirectly, since elementary school, and Kevin had told Jeremy a bare-bones version of his past months ago. “I was getting a lot of attention from scouts during our senior year. Not that Riko wasn’t, but he still felt like he was being overlooked. He was jealous. The scouts for Edgar Allen were coming to our final game. It was Riko’s dream school. We were supposed to go together, but he thought if the scouts saw me play they’d sign me instead of him. So, the night before the game, he broke my hand.” Neil and Jeremy both reeled back in disgust at this revelation. Kevin took a deep breath and charged ahead.

“Our guardian, Tetsuji, concocted some story about an accident. I lost all my scholarship offers. I came down here after graduation to see David Wymack. He’s the Exy coach here,” he informed Neil. “He was close with my mom before she died, and we kept in touch over the years. I told him what happened and he let me stay with him and his wife while I got settled down here.”

He let the other two process this while he stripped out of his gear.

“Kevin,” Jeremy began. “You should join the team.” When Kevin finally met his gaze, he was surprised at the intensity in Jeremy’s eyes. “Don’t let that bastard take this away from you.”

Kevin turned away from their expectant gazes. He felt raw and exposed.

“I’ll think about it.” He skipped the showers and grabbed his bag from the locker room, eager to leave the conversation behind.

 

Allison spent her first few nights in the dorms making angry phone calls and searching Craigslist for cheap apartments while Robin sat transfixed in front of the small television with a bowl of cereal. Every. Night.

She hung up on another neckbeard looking for a female "roommate" and threw herself onto the couch in defeat. Robin silently offered her some Lucky Charms. Allison eyed the box then looked back up at Robin.

“I’m good. Thanks.”

Robin shrugged and turned her attention back to the small TV. She was watching some weird cartoon about alien rocks or what the fuck ever. The exhaustion Allison had been staving off for weeks finally hit her full force. She only had a few hours before her shift at Sweetie’s. She’d planned on using that time to finally lock down a new apartment, or at least get a head start on this week’s homework, but she was so damn tired. She considered Robin, perfectly content with her Lucky Charms and cartoons. She really could use a break. Sighing, she poured herself a bowl and settled in for several hours of rest.

When Renee stopped by later in the week, this is how she found them: slumped together on the loveseat, twin bowls of Cocoa Puffs in hand, reruns of _What's New, Scooby-Doo?_ playing.

“Wow, you guys are really living it up in here, huh?”

“Yeah,” Allison said. “In the past two days, I only spent a quarter.”

“We’re having the time of our lives,” Robin added, eyes never leaving the screen.

“Right. Good.” Renee looked back to Allison. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing great. Staying here has actually helped me come to terms with losing my money. There’s a communal bathroom down the hall — you don’t sit on a toilet like that until you’ve left the material world behind.” Robin hummed in agreement. Allison saw Renee’s forehead crease with worry but chose to ignore it. This whole arrangement was her idea in the first place. If she didn’t like how it turned out, that was her problem. Renee cast one more look around the room, catching briefly on Allison, before saying her goodbyes.

 

Kevin lingered outside the office door, working up the courage to go in. Which was ridiculous. He’d been in this office dozens of times in the past year and a half. He suppressed his nerves as best he could and walked into the room where David Wymack sat behind his eternally messy desk. Wymack glanced up when the door opened and silently motioned for him to come in.

Kevin sat in the office’s only empty chair — the other occupied by a heavy jacket and a lunch most likely packed by Abby this morning. She’d packed an identical lunch for Kevin each day when he was still sleeping in their guest room, a surprisingly maternal action that created an odd mix of grief and gratitude whenever he thought of it. Wymack closed up his laptop and attempted to shuffle some of the papers off of his desk before giving up and turning his attention back towards Kevin.

“What can I do for you, kid?” Kevin let out a slow breath and started fidgeting with a staple remover.

“Dean Pelton asked me to join the Exy team.” Wymack raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“Yeah, he mentioned that. Asked me to ‘put in a good word’ if I could. I figured I’d let you make your own decision. He didn’t ambush you, did he?” Kevin shrugged.

“Kind of. Not really. That’s not why I’m here though.” Kevin put the staple remover back on the desk and met Wymack’s gaze. “I was hoping you could give me some advice.”

Wymack sat forward in his chair, crossing his arms over his desk. After he’d gotten settled, he gestured for Kevin to continue.

“I’ve always loved Exy. Even after Riko and everything, it’s… freeing. Being on the court. When I’m playing, my head clears and I can forget about everything for a while. At least until I stop playing and I start overanalyzing the game,” he admits.

“All right. So what’s the problem?” Kevin took a deep breath.

“I’m not… I’m not good enough. I’m not at the same place I was before the accident, and I doubt I ever can be when I’m not using my dominant hand. And even playing right-handed, my left hand gets strained and I have to take too many breaks. I’d never be able to play a full game. I’m just not ready to play on a real team again.”

Wymack didn’t answer right away. He took his time thinking over what was said, which Kevin appreciated both for the fact he was taking it seriously and for the extra time it gave Kevin to settle his nerves after this admission.

“I’ve got a few things,” Wymack finally said. “One, you’ve seen the Human Beings play. You definitely don’t have to worry about bringing down the team.” Kevin snorted and let him continue. “Two, no one would expect you to play a full game. Not without dire fucking circumstances. Every player needs a break at some point, no one’s gonna fault you for putting your physical health first. Three, you might not ever play the same way you did before the accident, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t good. I know the kind of pressure you were under during high school, that you always had to be the best, but that kind of thinking isn’t healthy. You should always be the best you can, yes, but not at the expense of your mental or physical health. Whether or not you join the team, Exy doesn’t have to be about being the best anymore. You can just play because you want to, because you love it.”

Wymack waited a few moments while Kevin processed everything he said, then spoke again. “Look, kid. This is your choice to make, and whatever you decide I’ll support you. But don’t let your fear make the decision for you. And for what it’s worth, I’d be honored to have you on this team.” Kevin cleared his throat, choked up on unexpected affection.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll think about it. Thanks.” He got out of his seat and made for the door, but stopped short of leaving. He looked back at Wymack, who was watching him expectantly. He could feel a confession at the back of his throat, edging its way out. The secret he’d been holding since he was fifteen and he’d found his mother’s letter tucked away in Tetsuji’s study. But his cowardice pushed the confession back down and replaced it with another, “Thank you. For the advice.” He left the office before he could change his mind.

 

Renee was starting to worry. At first, she’d been relieved when she found out Allison was staying with Robin. She knew it wasn’t a permanent solution, but it was better than letting her keep living out of her car. So she’d been satisfied with the arrangement and hoped Allison would be able to find her feet again soon.

But during the past week, she’d watched Allison slowly decline. It started small: wearing less makeup to class and showing up in more comfortable clothes — which Renee never thought would be something she considered a “warning sign,” but considering the amount of thought and effort Allison had always put into her appearance, it was troubling. Renee was willing to overlook it, however. From what she’d heard, Allison had gone through a lot of trouble in the past few months and certainly deserved a break, however small.

But then she started showing up with her unwashed hair in a low, grungy ponytail. She was engaging less in class and during group. She put in less effort with her school work. She’d even started wearing socks and sliders in public, which even Renee thought of as a red flag.

The fact of the matter was, she wasn’t behaving like Allison anymore. Renee knew this wasn’t her responsibility, not really — honestly, she and Allison barely knew each other, even after spending nearly every afternoon together for weeks — but she couldn’t ignore the trainwreck she feared she’d helped set in motion. Logically, she knew Allison was already headed down this path, might even have been far worse if she hadn’t moved into the dorms, but Renee still worried she’d simply put a band-aid over a gaping wound that Allison was now stubbornly ignoring.

She’d tried bringing it up during one of her sparring sessions with Andrew. He’d given her a blank look in response, then slammed her into the gym mat. Afterward, during their drive to the coffee shop, he said, “You can’t kill her demons. You just need to find the right motivation for her to do it herself.”

She’d been mulling over this advice all weekend, trying to find the right way to kick Allison back into gear, but so far she’d come up empty. She was starting to wonder if she should back off and let the problem resolve itself when Allison and Robin both turned up missing for Spanish class on Monday. The look Andrew sent her during roll call was clear. _You fix it or I will._ Andrew may not care what happened to Allison, but he wouldn’t let Robin get caught up in her storm.

So Renee went looking for them, eventually finding them at the cafeteria’s frozen yogurt stand — though calling the watered down mess that came out of the machines "frozen yogurt" was extremely generous. They both had cups piled so high with toppings you could hardly make out the yogurt underneath.

“You guys weren’t in Spanish class.”

“ _Stranger Things_ marathon,” Allison explained without looking away from the whipped cream she was using to drown her yogurt.

“Season two comes out in a week,” Robin added. “We needed the head start so we could solidify our theories.” She and Renee both cast a surreptitious glance at Allison, who had gone to spraying the whipped cream directly into her own mouth.

“Renee, could I have a word with you?” After they’d both walked out of earshot, Robin turned to her with a concerned expression. “You need to take her back.”

“I never had her in the first place. Is she causing trouble in your dorm?”

“Not at all. It’s been great, just not for her. She’s like E.T.: she crashed at my place and we’re friends now, which is good for me but it’s bad for her. She needs to get back.” Renee let out a breath she felt like she’d been holding all week.

“I’ve been trying to find a way, but I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t know what she needs.”

“You talked her into staying with me in the first place. You got her to open up to you somehow. Just… talk to her. I don’t know. I’m not really good at the whole ‘talking about feelings’ thing. I was hoping you could cover that part.”

Renee looked over at Allison, nearly unrecognizable from the woman she’d met at the beginning of the semester.

“I’ll do what I can,” she said.

 

Allison was sprawled across the loveseat, halfway through a family-size bag of chips, when Renee stormed in and shut off the television.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Renee tossed a heavy paper bag onto the couch beside her. Allison sat up and pulled a coffee mug shaped like a fox out of the bag. “What is this?”

“A housewarming gift. For your new apartment.”

“I haven’t found a new apartment.”

“But you will.” Allison shoved the bag onto the coffee table.

“What are you doing?” she asked again.

“It is too early for you to give up.”

“Who says I’m giving up?” Renee cast a pointed look around the dorm room, lingering on Allison’s own disheveled figure. “Whatever. I deserve a break.”

“This isn’t a break, this is spiraling out of control.” Renee sat on the loveseat next to her. “You’re right. You do deserve a break. But this,” she gestured around the room again, “isn’t helping you. You need to find your own space. One you can thrive in. You’ve lost your direction. And you have split ends.”

Allison scowled and ran her fingers through her hair. “Since when do you care about that?”

“I don’t, but you do.”

“So what, this little intervention is because I’ve stopped using product in my hair?”

“Of course not. Obviously you don’t need to put so much effort into how you look. But you like to.” Allison shrugged but didn’t deny it. “Honestly, that’s only a surface level problem. You’ve been skipping class, you’re not doing your school work. Robin told me you called in sick to work the other night so you could watch _Jersey Shore_ reruns. Do you even like that show?”

“No. They’re all fucking annoying.” Truth was, she simply hadn’t had the energy to leave bed that night. She knew Renee had a point, but she didn’t know where to go from here. It felt too easy, too tempting to retreat further into the safety of dorm life and forget everything else. She’d averted her eyes at some point in the conversation, not willing to meet Renee’s hopeful gaze, but she looked back up when she felt Renee’s hand wrap around her own.

“I meant what I said before. You don’t have to do any of this alone. I’ll even go apartment hunting with you. But I know you’re strong enough to get past this.” Allison tightened her grip on Renee’s hand.

“Thank you.” She was rewarded with a bright, genuine smile.

“Let’s start with some baby steps. There’s a pep rally for the Exy team tonight. Would you like to come with me?”

Allison smiled back at her, smaller but just as genuine. “I’d love to. Help me with my makeup?”

 

It felt strange to wear a jersey again, even if it was only for a pep rally. It was oddly exhilarating. Jeremy had been chattering excitedly in his ear all night, but now he was making his rounds through the rest of the team.

Kevin hadn’t been to a pep rally since high school. He wasn’t sure most universities bothered to throw them for Exy teams, considering the sport was still relatively unpopular, but Greendale has never been a school that followed the norm. They were waiting to enter the small gymnasium. As the captain, Jeremy would be first to enter but Dean Pelton had insisted Kevin take the second spot, eager to show him off to the rest of the school. Not that it really mattered — none of them would know who he was or his high school reputation. But the Dean and Jeremy were both ecstatic, so he’d accepted the spot without argument. Wymack was happy about it too, in his own quiet way. It felt right, being here. It felt like coming home.

He spotted a shock of red hair weaving its way through the crush of bodies around him. It was slow going, considering Neil was nearly a foot shorter than most of the players. Kevin decided to take pity on him and meet him halfway. Once they’d found a secluded area of hallway to stand, Neil turned an appraising eye on Kevin.

“Robin and I came to cheer you on,” Neil said. “Or laugh at you, depending on how ridiculous this pep rally is.”

“Well, the Dean organized the whole thing so it’ll probably be the latter.” A smile tugged at the corner of Neil’s mouth. It looked equal parts smug and proud.

“Blue and white suits you. I’m glad you took my advice.”

“Yeah, me too. Thanks, I guess, for being a manipulative bastard.” 

“Any time.” Neil turned to leave but Kevin stopped him.

“Hey, don’t think this means you’re off the hook. We’re still practicing every Friday. Your footwork is embarrassing and I’m not leaving this school until you can use a heavy weight racquet without dropping it halfway through a match.” Neil grinned wider.

“Sure thing, coach. Good luck out there.” With that, he was off and Kevin made his way back to the front of the line.

 

Allison and Renee sat on the crowded bleachers, sharing a bag of popcorn between them. It was surprisingly nice. The shower she’d taken earlier was also nice. She hadn’t realized how much grime she’d collected during the week until she’d finally washed it off.

Students were still filing into the gym. In the distance, they saw Robin walk through the double doors and waved her over. She parked herself next to Allison, taking in a quick scan of her appearance.

“I guess this means you’re moving out,” she observed.

“I am, soon. I’ll probably need a few more days to find a place, then I’ll be out of your hair.” Robin accepted this with a small nod. “You would’ve been fine with me staying there forever, wouldn’t you?”

“Yep.”

“You’re pretty cool, Robin.”

She raised an eyebrow at Allison. “You’re a huge nerd.” Allison pulled her into a hug.

“Thank you.” When they pulled apart, they came face to face with a tall, thin figure in a full-body white spandex suit. It had a large blue “G” printed on its chest and a horrifyingly simple face drawn in magic marker. It was moving in slow circles with its arms out in front of it, clearly lost. “Holy fuck, what in God’s name is that thing?”

The Dean appeared at its side, looking a bit frenzied, and put an arm around its shoulders.

“Hello, ladies. Say hello to our ethnically-neutral mascot: the Greendale Human Being. The costume makes it difficult for him to see.” The man inside the suit started mumbling frantically. “He can’t move his mouth, either. But take it from me, that’s Human for ‘hello.’ Let’s get you onto the court.” He steered the Human Being towards the center of the gym and the cheerleaders, who subtly inched away as the pair walked closer.

“Well,” Renee started, once they’d recovered a bit from their shock, “that was…”

“Terrifying,” Allison supplied. They started laughing. Robin reached over to steal their popcorn. This was definitely a feeling Allison could get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who haven't watched _Community_ , google "Greendale Human Being" — it's fucking terrifying


End file.
